About Bhai Dooj
Bhai Dooj falls on Kartik Shukla Dwitiya, the second day of the bright half of Kartik, usually two days after Diwali. It is also called Yama Dwitiya, after the story at its heart. Yama, lord of the departed, and Yamuna, the river goddess, were brother and sister. Yamuna had asked her brother many times to visit, and on this day he finally came. She welcomed him with a tilak on his forehead, an aarti and a meal cooked with her own hands. Pleased, Yama said that any brother who visits his sister on this day and receives her tilak would be blessed. The day has been kept in that spirit ever since.
The festival has many names. It is Bhai Dooj or Bhaiya Dooj in the north, Bhau Beej in Maharashtra, Bhai Phota in Bengal, and Bhai Tika in Nepal, where it is the last day of Tihar and sisters put a tika of seven colours on their brothers' foreheads. In Bengal sisters apply a phota of sandal paste with the little finger, often keeping a fast until it is done.
The customs are simple and warm. The sister prepares a thali with roli or sandal paste, rice, a lamp and sweets, and seats her brother facing her. She applies the tilak, does aarti, offers him sweets and often a coconut, and prays for his wellbeing and long life. The brother gives her a gift and a promise to stand by her, and the two share a festive meal. Where brothers and sisters live far apart, many meet over a call, and some families have cousins or friends stand in.
The tilak is traditionally done in the aparahna, the afternoon part of the day, and the date is chosen by the Dwitiya tithi present at that time. In some homes the tilak is done earlier or later by family custom.